It's a busy day.
For long time not stay in HN at weekend. I have thought about lazy days lie on bed, sleeping and do other things at home. But no way, I could not do all things I have planned. So terrible...
I know... But I don't know what I've done. Just feel fault...
So sorry...
Uhm... I cried this afternoon, after seeing the film "La Bamba" telling about a new star of rock'n'roll in the sixties or seventies, Ritchie Valens. When the brothers can not see each other after a quarrel, they were aparted because of death.
Not a romantic film, not make sense if you don't see at the point, if you don't think of the context... Just simple, as many things in life, just come, just go... My friends asked me why I looked so diffrent. It's so difficult to hide the tears though I've tried. So crazy...
Just a day of tears. I don't know why. So long time. Since I was a shoolgirl, I have so much tears to cry in any occasion, And I hate that. My classmate always called me Crocodile... It's different when I grow up. The tears seemed disappeared... But...
Recently, I don't know why it comes back to me, as a close friend having parted long time ago, and becomes closer when they back...
Terrible! I don't wanna accept this, but... I feel...
Just think about some song...
Sorry seems to be the hardest word
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
Not every words like what I'm thinking, but, just think of the song... Just feel sad, just because of me myself.
Think about it, but listening the songs of Blackfield and Lake of Tears. They can make a hole in my soul, they can make me thinks of what I've done.
Miss u, when will I see your face again? Can I leave a room, and find the headstones. Go otherwheres and cry: Where is my love? When will I heal the hole in me? Now or never? I really feel unwell now. Wanna meet Nathalie and the fireflies. I will say to her: Hello, give her my gift of silence, and talk with her, forever... autumn, like a Sorceress (Sorcerer) I will fly, and fly, to the sky... I see last purple sky, and I smile, a forever smile, at the Killer So terrific!
Just think. I know that I can be a crazy person now...